My Aunt Teresita

While talking to my aunt that I hadn't seen in four years, I felt a closeness that you can only really feel when there is a connection. She is my family my blood. She told me that we get our characteristics from the people that we are around, whether we like it or not. Sometimes I know I do things or think in the way that my dad thinks, even though we sometimes bump heads or argue I know the things I take away from my dad are traits that make me a better person. My aunt also talked about how people try to label you. I thought about when people tell me Im a stubern person, and then I believe it, and right then and there I am labeled! But things like that don't have to define you, maybe I am stubern in that moment but usually its for a reason, and that certainly doesn't mean thats who I am. What Im trying to say is that you have to be happy with the person you are inside, then nothing else matters.

Youth

While I remain unfulfilled, I have to admit its getting better. Im 18 going on 19, its my time to experiment and be radical. I will express my self and even if I seem unorthodox to some, my behavior is my own and no one else's. Today my dad told me to enjoy my youth, I replied I am.

Tree

Im not sure where you came from
I usually see you in the house with the gnome
You always seem to make me feel right at home
I once heard you made some one foam, at the mouth
And you know Im alway down south
But up north is where i want to be
Not up in humble though
more like the city of angels
No not here with the people with the kanckles
I hate spending cash but they love getting that hash
my friend once made tea but i didn't get any
I met you at 15
before i had never really seen
you make me see shapes and help me fly
I loose myself in the maze you provide
its kinda like a ride
I wonder how you can make my world so much rounder
There is so much out there
It doesn't even matter
You make me feel good like all my fixes do
I just hope some day you'll help me find her.
this, this, is to be enjoyed with another.

State of Mind.

Today is Friday the 13th, it couldn't have been a better day. Nothing special happened but everything looked up. I didn't let anything bother me, there was nothing to bother me. I was in a state of mind where everything was going they way it was suppose to. Crying kids at the store didn't annoy me, my foot that has a pain that just doesn't go away didn't affect me, The rain getting me wet was all good. Im not sure what happened to me but I like it. Welcome to my fabulous life, a state of mind.

black & white

Life has more than one dimension. Sometimes I feel I see things in black and white. My teacher is either smart or dumb, my friends are cool or lame, im happy or upset. I need to get out of the bubble called life in San Ysidro, nothing mush changes here. I have a shell around me, I have for the past 18 years. Some animals shed their shells and the time is coming for me to shed mine. Its hard to make the best of things when there are obstacles always in my way. I think a road trip will show me change of scenery and a more optimistic outlook.

Wisdom Teeth

Im not sure why they call them wisdom teeth I don't feel any wiser, but mine started to show a few weeks ago. So I had t get them removed. I was a little anxious about it at first. But it didn't hurt at all I only had to take the pain pills once right after I got home from the dentist. The only thing that is bothering me about this little procedure is that it has made my face look ridiculous. One side of my face is swollen beyond belief making me look a little weird, well probably more than a little weird. Some say im a monster at the moment but its okay to be a monster every once in a while.

Spring.

The flowers on the freeway started to bloom today. So I guess even though the groundhog decided we would have six more weeks of winter last Monday, spring has arrived. Im still not sure if I welcome it with open arms we barely had a winter here in San Diego.